(Linda Elsdon)
"The worst part of the college application is writing the essay. Our daughter doesn't
know where to start with the topic, 'Evaluate a significant experience or achievement that
has special meaning to you.' She says she has nothing compelling to write about and she's
begging for our help. What should we do?"
Is this scenario or something similar happening in your house? Has the longest
conversation you have had with your student in a while been on the subject of the college
essay? Well, you are not alone, but just how involved should you become?
What's The Big Deal?
First of all, you should realize that writing the college essay is a difficult task for
your student. Colleges aren't really looking for the superhuman qualities that one
reportedly successful applicant to New York University facetiously wrote about. He began
his essay with: "I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I
have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient
in the area of heat retention." He also bragged, "I sleep once a week " and
can "cook thirty-minute brownies in twenty minutes." "But," he
concluded, "I have not yet gone to college." No, students don't have to prove
that they are extraordinary, but they are expected to look at themselves introspectively,
and convey their thoughts coherently and in a most interesting, even unique way. This is
no easy task; in fact, it's an intimidating experience. I've done it and I could relate to
this quote by Gene Fowler, "Writing is easy: All you do is sit staring at a blank
sheet of paper until the drops of blood form on your forehead." Try it. Write about
yourself and see what happens.
Even though you will sympathize with your child on the difficulty of the task, you need to
convey loudly and clearly that you will not be writing the essay for him. In discussing a
student's application I asked the student, "Are you happy with your essay." He
replied, "My dad wrote most of it." "How do you feel about that?" I
asked. He lowered his head, "It makes me feel bad." He continued quietly,
"I wrote about a difficult time in my life and my dad said it was too negative. He
started making suggestions, and then before I knew it he was writing whole paragraphs for
me." After a pause he continued, "I want to re-write it, it's my life."
Whose Life Is It Anyway?
Yes, it's your student's life and it's important that the essay be authentic, in other
words, written by your child. Admission counselors who read essay after essay know full
well if the child or the parent has written the essay. Ted Sutton, an educational
consultant who has been, as he puts it, "in the application trenches for years"
believes that "Parents of high school seniors often believe that the college
application process is their last chance to exert control over their kids' lives.'' He
gives the following examples: For an essay titled "My Most Significant
Experience," Sarah wanted to write about Legos - how she loved to play with them as a
child and how they influenced her decision to become an architect. But her parents thought
the topic was too risky and frivolous. Instead they talked her into writing about how she
learned to "smell the roses" while planting trees in the rain forest at summer
eco-camp in Costa Rica. Sarah was rejected. Maybe it was because her essay was so cliched.
The topic suggested by the parents wasn't a bad topic. There are no wrong topics, but the
treatment of some topics can make them ineffective or unoriginal. And if your student's
heart is not in the writing this will be apparent to the readers.
What Can I Do?
What you can do is help your student:
¨ Understand his or her self. Brainstorm ideas, and help your student come up with what
is unique to her. The objective for your student is not to impress the admission officer
by writing on the most impressive subject but to successfully reveal what makes her
"tick." As William Hiss at Bates College says, "We don't want the back lot
of MGM, a created scene over a barren field. We want to see the real landscape."
¨ Recognize the essay for what it is - a part of a whole application. William Conley,
Director of Admission, at Drew University, aptly sums it up: "The application essay
is primarily intended to help admission officers 'flesh out' the applicant's personal
side." Often it is helpful to pick one anecdote from the student's life to illustrate
the larger issues. One young man described how he had learnt to play the drums in spite of
a physical disability. Through the telling of a story the readers are drawn in and can
clearly understand what kind of person he is: "Through my drums, my hand and I have
become one. Now, when I meet new people, I no longer fear that the first part of me a
person sees will be my hand. That person may see my heart, as I share with him a poem I
have just finished. Another will see me, sitting behind the fruit of my passion, the
drums, driving a punk quartet or the school jazz ban. And if that person does see my hand
- what of it? It is with this hand that I make music. It is with this hand that I write a
poem, or do a calculus problem, or stroke a kitten. What more could I possibly want? I am
complete." The best essays won't say, "I'm amazing" but the reader will
exclaim, "Wow, that kid is pretty amazing!"
¨ Encourage your child to set aside plenty of time for the essay. Ideally, it's best to
follow this sequence: Write a first draft. Put it away. Do some additions, some revisions.
Polish, and then revise again - and again. It's O.K for you to point out grammatical
errors, and spelling mistakes, but don't get "heavy handed." And be careful
about criticizing the content of the essay.
Is This The Write Stuff?
Writing about yourself can be a painful experience and your students are vulnerable when
they allow adults to view this kind of writing. Realize, also, that everyone who reads it
may have a different point of view. Essays such as these are open to subjective opinions.
You may not agree with your child, or the English teacher as to whether this is the essay
that should be submitted. Your child's own peers are sometimes the most ruthless critics.
Encourage your student to allow others to read the essay and to listen to opinions, but
ultimately you must allow your child to write his or her own story. As Theodore O'Neill,
Director of College Admission at the University Of Chicago, stresses to students,
"Let yourselves be heard in your writing. Don't try to ape someone else or to sound
the way you think colleges want you to sound. Speak in your own voice."
COLLEGE ESSAY DO'S AND DON'TS
DO!
· Do understand the purpose of the essay
· Do consider your audience and what you will bring to the institution
· Do read the question carefully before and after you have written the essay
· Do step outside yourself and review yourself objectively and reflectively
· Do brainstorm several ideas and write about something that only you can tell
· Do start and end well
· Do focus on one story; be specific, colorful, descriptive and anecdotal
· Do be clear about the points you are making about yourself
· Do be natural, using your own voice and vocabulary - be true to yourself
· Do allow yourself time to put it aside; then read aloud, and have someone else read it
· Do revise, revise, revise
DON'T!
· Don't be silly or cute
· Don't try to change yourself to fit the institution
· Don't try to impress by attempting to solve all the world's problems
· Don't use slang, bad grammar, or misspellings
· Don't be whining or self-pitying
· Don't manufacture "hardships"
· Don't be abstract or general
· Don't use clichés or trite sentiments
· Don't use the essay to list your accomplishments
· Don't repeat in the essay what can be found elsewhere in the
application
· Don't exceed the suggested length or reduce the print so the essay is hard to read
